Is It Enough?
by Liana-chan
Summary: Complete. Takes place one year after Endless Waltz. Duo is living with Hilde when he gets a call from Quatre. Something has happened to Heero... Mild slash DuoHeero, implied TrowaQuatre
1. Part 1: The Accident

Okay, so this is the first fic I actually ever wrote. It was slightly before Not One Sock, but it needs to be typed up and have a bit of editing…

* * *

**Is It Enough?**

**Part 1: The Accident**

"Duo? Duo!"

The shout hauled Duo out of blissful sleep and into a very bright morning. Sprawled out on his bed, one arm and his chestnut braid hanging over the edge, he opened his eyes, only to wince and quickly close them again as the sunlight streamed in through his bedroom window.

'_Every night I close those blinds, and every morning she opens them before I get up!'_ He carefully opened one of his eyes so that just a little slit of their startling blue depths was revealed. _'I think she's actually trying to blind me.'_

"Yeah, hold on a sec, Hilde! I'll be right there," he yelled back as he tossed the covers aside and slipped his legs over the side of the mattress. He stumbled over to the closet as he stretched his arms and pulled out his usual black clothes. He quickly put them on over the boxers he slept in and then glanced over at his very unmade bed. The covers were all twisted and balled up because he could never sleep without squirming during the night. He debated making it a bit more presentable, but quickly decided against it. '_Hilde's going to have a cow. But what's the point of making my bed when I'm just going to sleep in it again tonight?'_ Duo shrugged and passed through the short hallway that connected his bedroom to the kitchen.

Hilde looked up from the book she was reading. "Good morning," she said in a singsong voice as he entered.

"There's no such this as a 'good morning,' Hilde. It's an oxymoron," Duo mumbled as he unsuccessfully stifled a yawn.

"You're a moron, Duo," she laughed.

"And you love me for it!" He winked and then leaned over her to grab a piece of bacon off her plate. Then his voice changed to a mock whine. "What'd you wake me up for? I need my beauty sleep!"

Hilde shook her head slowly as she laughed at him. "You've got a call in the other room," she told Duo as he reached for her plate again, snatching a slice of toast off it. "And stop stealing my food!" She scowled at him and then it was his turn to laugh. Hilde stuck her tongue out at him and then her nose back in her book as he bit into his toast and walked away.

'_Probably just someone who needs parts from the scrap yard,'_ he thought. _'It might even be Howard. He did say he would call…_' He was still smiling to himself as he sat down at the vid-screen. His grin grew larger when he saw who had called.

"Hey Q-man! What's up?" His eyes narrowed and his smile faltered as he saw that his friend did not look happy. _'Uh oh.'_ "What's wrong, Quatre?"

/It's Heero, Duo. He's had an accident./

"Oh, so 'Mr. Perfect Soldier' managed to get himself blown up again, did he?" he joked as he took a second bite of toast. While on the outside he acted carefree, he was feeling horribly sick on the inside. He wouldn't be able to stand it if something had really happened to Heero. The uneasy feeling in the pit of Duo's stomach grew when he realized that Quatre's usually smiling face held no trace of its typical cheerfulness. _'Quatre wouldn't kid around about something like this. And the look on his face! This wouldn't be the first time something has happened to Heero…'_ Duo swallowed hard and the ball of toast stumbled its way down his suddenly dry throat. His uneasiness grew still more intense as he stared at the blonde Arabian and the stretch of silence lengthened.

"What happened?" he managed to get out.

/We're not sure. He crashed, that's all we know. He's been admitted into the hospital on colony JL0701 of L2./ Quatre replied.

That was all Duo needed to hear. He jumped out of his chair, grabbed his coat, and ran out of the door.

When Hilde came to give Duo a mug of coffee the only things that greeted her were a blank vid-screen, a partly eaten piece of toast on the floor, and the door that Duo hadn't completely closed in his rush to get out.

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End Part 1 

Just to let you know, there are five chapters to this one, none of which are extremely long, but it just made sense to separate them as such. They should all be up and posted within a day or two of each other, so stay tuned…


	2. Part 2: The Hospital

Hey! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, on this fic and on my other two. It's nice to know that someone out there is reading this, and that they're enjoying it. 

**Xtine:** You know how much this fic (and all my others) has depended on you. I know I started it on my own (what the hell was I thinking?) but it probably never would have been finished without you bugging the crap out of me.

**Chase:** Glad you like them. Very relieved, Love.

**TempleMistress:** It's too bad you don't know Gundam Wing. But I thank you for reading anyway! And I've got a Harry Potter one started, as well as a Pirates of the Caribbean one, plus a couple of ideas for Star Wars, so hold on, something you know should be on the way relatively soon…

**Charlie00:** Hope you're not too disappointed that it is not, in fact a Duo/Hilde, but a Duo/Heero. Sort of. I see the relationship between Duo and Hilde as being more of a brotherly/sisterly love thing…

**Yaeko:** Don't worry; Heero is fine. It's nothing he can't handle. I couldn't bear to hurt him. Plus the guy would undoubtedly kick my ass if I tried!

**Black angel:** I'm working on it! Stupid midterms…

**Karina:** While this one doesn't have Zechs in it, I'm hoping you will read it anyway. I might have another Zechs one for you that Xtine has been bugging me about for a while that I'm thinking of writing. I just need to find the time, unfortunately…

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**Part 2: The Hospital**

Duo rushed up to the reception desk in the lobby waiting room of the hospital. The young nurse on duty looked up at him and stared momentarily before regaining her composure and asking, "Can I help you?"

Duo nervously raked a hand through his bangs, running it over his head and down the length of his braid, feeling the freed strands of hair self-consciously. _'Yeah, I guess I don't look all that great right now,'_ he thought before answering, "Umm…yeah, I'm here to see a friend."

"And your friend's name is…?" The nurse looked at him expectantly.

Duo stared at her dumbly. What name had Heero been admitted under? Quatre wouldn't have given his real name. Or at least Duo didn't think he would have, anyway. Heero would go berserk if he found out that people knew his name, that his 'cover' had been blown. He'd probably kill himself in the condition he was admitted for; if Heero was in the hospital it must be bad. Duo's heart jumped into his throat at the thought. All five ex-Gundam pilots were supposed to be living quiet civilian lives after Operation Meteor. So it made sense to think that Heero could have just been in a regular car accident. Because he wouldn't have – couldn't have possibly – been on a mission. Especially not without Wing Zero. There was no need for either – missions or Heero's Gundam. And Wing Zero was an absolute impossibility, as were the other Gundams. They – along with all other mobile suits and mobile dolls - had been destroyed after the war against Mariemaiea, or more precisely, against Dekim Barton. They weren't needed in Relena's time of peace. So Heero couldn't have been on a mission… But Duo had doubted right from the start of peacetime that Heero could ever truly give up being a soldier; judging by the state of things right now, it appeared he had probably been right. Quatre's words came back to him. _'He's had an accident. He crashed.'_ The words echoed over and over in his mind causing his anxiety to mount.

Duo was jerked out of his thoughts and back into the hospital by the soft touch of a hand on his shoulder. He started and spun around, equally startling Quatre.

"Hello, Duo," Quatre greeted with a smile, and then looked past him, speaking to the nurse. "Thanks, Tracy. I can take him to see Odin." She smiled back at the charming blonde and nodded, giving Duo a strange look – just how long had be been standing there? – before going back to her paperwork. Quatre's gaze shifted back to his fellow ex-pilot. "Come on, he's this way."

Duo followed Quatre as the Arabian pilot led him through a series of identical off-white hallways, past scores of identical brown-painted doors. The only dreary splash of colour was a dingy green paint that ran along the baseboards, along with the matching green and white linoleum floor tiles. Duo kept his eyes on them as he followed Quatre, unwilling to look at the doors they passed, not wanting to think of all the people behind them in similar conditions to Heero's. Injury and death had always been inevitable in his life, but that didn't mean he wanted bear witness to any more of it than he had to. And besides, that part of his life was supposed to be over now. But the familiar sterile smell of the hospital reminded him that it never truly would be.

"Odin? Why that name?" he asked, breaking the silence and startling poor Quatre again. "And what last name did you use?"

"Lowe, Odin Lowe," Quatre replied, glancing at him briefly before turning his attention back to the numbers on the doors. "Because that's the name that was on the IDs he was carrying; he was already checked in under that name when we got here."

_'What? IDs? But Heero has never ever had any ID on him before.'_ Duo shoved the thought from his mind, dismissing it as unimportant, and looked back down at the dull green of the floor tiles. The silence resumed, the only sound the soft tapping of the two ex-pilots' shoes as their strides brought them down the hallway. Brought them closer to Heero. 

Suddenly Quatre stopped in front of the door labeled 825, brown and closed like all the others. There was only one difference to Duo, one hugely substantial difference: the person who lay in the bed behind it.

Duo reached out a trembling hand and pushed the door open.

* * *

End Part 2 

And, by the way, this takes place roughly a year after Endless Waltz (AC 197), putting the guys at around 17 or 18 years old.

Sorry it's so short. I seem to have trouble writing longer things... However, while the next parts aren't long, per se, they are slightly longer than the ones I've already posted.


	3. Part 3: The Trip

Hey! I apologize for this taking a bit longer than expected to get posted. Stupid midterms. Honestly, the university seems to actually expect me to learn something! Gah! Anyway, thanks for having patience with me. I'm assuming you were patient. I'm probably wrong, aren't I? You're all ready to kill me, right? Well, you can't kill me, or else you'll never know how it ends! Bwah ha ha! Ahem. Sorry about that. 

**Xtine**: As always, thank you for everything, you royal pain in the ass. I wouldn't have it any other way. Hee hee! As for the hospital? I don't know. That's just what I want to do. I never really could tell you why, remember? I hate doctors too! Oops. And how could I ever forget any of Novak's classes? They were oh so interesting… Guh.

**Black Angel**: Thank you so much. That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

**Charlie00**: Glad I didn't disappoint!

**Yaeko**: Yes, I did say that I have the rest of this story written. The problem is finding the time to type it up and edit it. Blechy.

**

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****Part 3: The Trip**

The small room was sparsely furnished, holding a bed and a small table next to it, besides the expected life-monitoring machinery and IVs. The only other things in the room were four chairs – not all of them empty. The blinds had been drawn closed, casting thick bars of shadow amidst the thinner strips of sunlight.

Duo didn't see any of this, his eyes immediately drawn to the figure on the bed, its coffee coloured hair looking darker than he remembered against the white hospital sheets.

"Maxwell." Duo pulled his gaze away from Heero's slightly pale face and looked at the speaker.

"Hey Wufei! How're you doing?" Duo shifted into happy gear, the mood everyone always expected him to be in, the way he definitely did not feel at the moment. He wanted nothing more than to just sit by Heero, hold his hand, beg the Wing pilot to come back, to not leave him, because he didn't think he could bear to live without him. But he didn't. Couldn't, not with the others here. The mask he now wore out of habit may not have been as palpable as Trowa's circus mask, but that didn't make it hide any less, didn't make it any less real. He had lived most of his life during a war, and during a war, concealing his emotions had gotten him out of a lot of tough situations. Even now, with the war over, the mask seemed to automatically slip into place. _'Old habits die hard,'_ Duo thought to himself.

He glanced sideways to where Trowa was leaning against the wall. The Heavyarms pilot caught his eye, nodded, and went back to staring through the shadows and out the window.

"It took you long enough to get here, Maxwell," Wufei was nagging, drawing Duo's gaze back to him. "And you look horrible."

Duo laughed as he let his bag drop to the floor. "Well, excuuuuse me, Mr. High and Mighty." Then he looked down at himself and wrinkled his nose.

-----

_When he had raced to the spaceport and asked for the soonest shuttle off Earth and to L2, he was told that he had six hours to wait before the next one with seats available departed. After booking one ticket, Duo wandered aimlessly about the spaceport for a while. The adrenaline rush that had accompanied the news of Heero and his own nervous and impulsive need to do something – anything – had faded and left him feeling utterly exhausted and empty. Some obscure voice in his head broke through the curtain of haze that covered the rest of his mind to tell him that he was doing no good just walking around in his worried state, bumping into people without realizing it._

_With this thought still in mind, Duo went back to his and Hilde's place. He packed a backpack with a few things he knew he would be needing: some clothes, a toothbrush, a snack or two (or three or four), and his hairbrush, of course. After filling Hilde in and grabbing some cash, Duo was out the door again and rushing back to the spaceport, even though he still had over two hours of waiting left ahead of him._

_Passing through the automatic sliding doors of the spaceport, Duo cast around at length for an empty seat before finding one. He walked over to it, dropped his bag on the floor and flopped down into the hard plastic seat, emitting a long sigh and causing the old woman next to him to frown disapprovingly and the young girl with her to giggle. The girl fell silent as the old woman – probably her grandmother – grabbed her hand and led her away._

_After the two places next to him were vacated no one came to replace the little girl and her grandmother. Maybe it was because of the anxious look on his face. Maybe it was because of the tired old man who seemed to peer out of the boy's eyes. It might even have just been pure coincidence. But whatever it was, Duo was thankful to just be left alone. In order to keep his thoughts off of Heero and because he had nothing else to do, he people-watched._

_He saw an old man with tufts of white hair over his ears join the woman and the little girl. The three of them laughed at something the old man said. A group of five teenaged girls walked by, giggling and chatting loudly, two of them very obviously looking at Duo. As they passed him they giggled even louder. An overweight businessman in a tacky suit sat on a bench across the room, talking on a cell phone. He was clearly yelling at someone and his hands convulsively clutched the handle of his briefcase. A couple pushed a stroller and laced fingers, smiling at each other and their baby. A mother chased after her toddler, who had run away with her purse. A middle-aged woman looked up at the shuttle schedule board, looked down at her boarding pass, scratched her head, her confusion fully evident on her face, then looked back up at the board again. A little boy peeked into an animal carrier and pushed his fingers through the grating to pet his dog goodbye as his parents checked the canine in._

_Duo watched all this with an impassive eye. Then he smirked, the action slightly twisting his features. How quickly they had all gone back to their normal lives. How easily they had all forgotten. About the war. About the sacrifices the soldiers had made. Duo sighed again, just as a woman's bored voice came over the loudspeaker, telling him his shuttle was going to leave soon._

_Once on the shuttle, it was harder to find something to occupy his mind. Much harder. There wasn't anything much to look at. To his right sat the businessman he had seen before, the one who would probably have a heart attack any minute. He was not allowed to use his cell phone on the shuttle, much to Duo's relief. Besides staring at the seatback in front of him, Duo's only option was out the window on his left. He watched as buildings gradually got smaller and smaller, watched until fields and forests and cities made up big coloured patches of a giant quilt. The sparkle of the setting sun off the ocean caught his eye as the shuttle ascended through wisps of cloud._

_He couldn't sleep and he was too worried to eat. He passed the time looking out the small oval plexiglass window, idly flipping through a magazine he had absolutely no interest in, and enviously glancing around at the passengers who, unlike him, had actually fallen asleep. He had never been so relieved to get off a shuttle before._

_He took a taxi straight to the hospital as soon as he was out of the spaceport._

_-----_

No wonder he looked so bad! He had been traveling for close to a full day, during which he had neither slept nor had anything to eat, but had instead almost worried himself to death. Wisps of hair had come loose from his braid, the result of hours of being nervously fidgeted with and the ungodly amount of static those damn shuttle seats created. To complete the look, his clothes were rumpled from continuous wear.

He shrugged and turned to Quatre. "So, what happened?"

The blonde smiled gently and laid his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Why don't you go clean up a bit and then we can tell you about it over lunch. We'll meet you in the cafeteria."

'_Uh oh.'_ That didn't sound good. But Duo nodded and shouldered his bag anyway.

* * *

End Part 3 

Just a quick little footnote about when I will be posting. Tomorrow is not going to happen, unfortunately. I have my physics midterm on Friday afternoon, so I will definitely try to do something about getting Part 4 up right afterwards. But my brain will probably be a little bit numb…


	4. Part 4: The Story

Hey guys! Sorry it took so long. 

**Xtine:** I know, I know. But this time I meant my brain would be more numb than usual. Hee hee. Anyway, I'm glad you still like the airport scene. I've always been rather partial to it myself. People watching is fun!

**Chase:** I love you too! And you are a great writer. You just have a very interesting take on things…

**Lost-Remembrance:** Thank you. Here's your update.

**Computer Geek Michelle:** I'm on an alert list! Yay! Thank you. And sorry they're always pretty short. For some reason I really have a lot of trouble coming up with anything longer…

**Yaeko:** Thanks about the midterm. It really could have gone either way, but I'm not too happy with the odds… I don't think they're in my favour. My only consolation is that I know I will do much better on my French and biology ones this week.

**BlackRain88:** Sorry about the little cliffhanger. Something tells me you're not going to be too pleased with me at the end of this part then…

**Prozacfairy:** Yes, happy endings all around. I really hate writing the sad ones, but I do it occasionally. This however, is not one of those cases. Heero and Duo will both live.

And here's the next part:

* * *

**Part 4: The Story **

Duo felt much better. The damp braid that lay against his back and soaked his shirt reminded him of the shower he had just taken. He was wearing a fresh set of clothes, and even the practically inedible sludge the hospital cafeteria called food had worked wonders. He was a bit tired, but hearing about what had happened to Heero kept him more than awake.

Still sitting at a table in the cafeteria, Duo pushed his tray aside and looked expectantly at Quatre.

"As I told you when I first contacted you, Heero was in a crash, a shuttle crash, to be more precise. I had just gotten out of a business meeting here when I saw it on the news. It was a private shuttle, no one else was on it, and no other shuttle was involved. We have no idea what caused it – it looks like the only person who many be able to tell us is Heero." Quatre looked at him sympathetically.

"And he's really in no condition to do that, now is he?" Duo sighed. "All right, well, that explains how you were here before I was, but Tro', L3's quite a ways away. And L5's even farther, 'Fei."

"Une sent me here on Preventers' duty with Sally for a few days," Wufei replied.

"I came with Quatre." The blonde blushed furiously at Trowa's answer, quickly looking down at the table. Trowa smiled fondly at him before continuing, "I checked the shuttle data and there was nothing wrong with it. In fact, it had just been inspected the previous week, and had had a new part installed. According to its report, it was in perfect condition. There was no signed of bullet or beam marks anywhere on it, so Heero was not attacked. The last possible explanation is pilot error."

Duo snorted. "Come on, this is Heero Yuy we're talking about! He doesn't do pilot errors!"

Trowa shrugged. "I don't know, Duo. I guess we'll just have to wait until Heero can tell us."

They talked for a little while longer, Duo becoming more and more agitated. His friends seemed to notice this and all excused themselves. Wufei had to make sure his partner, the weak onna, hadn't messed anything up. Quatre had another meeting to attend and Trowa was checking on arrangements for Katherine and the circus. Duo made his way back to Heero's room, grateful for the lull in activity that meant he could just sit with his injured friend.

-----

Duo pulled a chair up next to the bed and flopped down into it. He stared at Heero for a while, just watching his fellow ex-pilot sleep, before he unraveled his still damp braid. Rummaging through his bag, he finally found his hairbrush and started slowly pulling it though the tresses that fell over his back and shoulders.

All tangles brushed out, Duo set his brush down. He stood up and hovered over Heero's still form, listening to the deep and even breathing. _'He looks so…peaceful.'_ Now that Heero was sleeping, all the hardness had disappeared from his features. He looked younger and more relaxed, almost as though his training had never happened, as though he hadn't gone through everything he had. Duo sighed contentedly and brushed a piece of Heero's hair off his face, smiling slightly as it fell right back into place as soon as he had removed his hand. The smile faded as he caught sight of a large bruise on the far side of the Japanese boy's neck. He leaned over to get a better look and a strand of damp hair slipped off his shoulder and slid across the bridge of Heero's nose.

Duo jumped back, holding his breath and staying perfectly still, as though that would stop Heero from waking up if he already had. When Heero still hadn't shown any sign of being awake, his even breathing not altering at all, Duo closed his eyes, quietly lowered himself back into his chair, and sighed softly. He really confused himself. First he couldn't wait for Heero to wake up, then he found himself trying to make sure Heero stayed asleep. He wanted to talk to Heero – after all, he hadn't since the end of the war just over a year ago – but he didn't want to. He wanted to know how – not to mention what – the Japanese pilot had been doing for that single long year they were apart. He wanted to know what had happened to land him in the hospital, but he didn't want to. What if, despite what Trowa said, Heero had been attacked? That could mean another war could be gearing up, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to know about that at the moment…

Duo sighed again and opened his eyes. He glanced towards the bed, only to find wide prussian eyes staring back at him. His heart fluttered in his chest and before he could lose himself in Heero's deep blue eyes Duo launched himself into talking to the other boy.

"Hey Buddy! How're ya doin'? What have you been up to? It's hard to believe it's been over a year already, isn't it? What happened? Does your head hurt? How 'bout your ribs? We've been worried sick about – " Heero's lips moved. "What's that Heero?"

"I'm alive," came the familiar monotone, harsher and more gravelly than he remembered due to a day of not being used.

"Of course you're alive! Would I be talking to a corpse? But just barely, man. That must have been one hell of a crash! What happened?"

But Heero wasn't listening to Duo. He had pushed the blankets off and was throwing a leg over the side of the bed. Duo hopped out of his chair to push Heero back down onto the bed. Being so close to Heero, Duo heard the whispered, "Mission failed."

Duo froze in the middle of tucking the freed leg back under the white sheets. "What did you say? What mission?" he demanded sharply.

Heero suddenly became more coherent, more like a soldier reporting than someone who had just woken up after being in an accident. "When something is no longer required, it is disposed of. There is peace now. Soldiers are not needed anymore. I am not needed anymore."

Duo stared dumbly at Heero, not wanting to believe what had just been implied. "Why?" The word was a barely audible whisper, a harsh and broken exhalation of air, but Heero heard it.

"I know nothing but how to be a soldier, and fighting is not necessary in this time of peace."

Duo broke in then, interrupting Heero's excuse. "But you could learn! You could learn to live a normal life, one not filled with pain and suffering and war. You could be happy."

Heero didn't seem to hear him. He kept on with his own train of thought, not stopping to listen to Duo. "No one would care if I killed myself. The world would probably be better off if I did."

A resounding slap filled the air. Heero didn't flinch, but his eyes widened in surprise.. Duo watched the skin of Heero's cheek redden and, ignoring his stinging palm and the matching colour forming on it, bit out "You selfish, inconsiderate little prick! Did you not think of the people you would be leaving behind? What your death would do to them?" His voice had risen by now, but he didn't notice, nor would he have cared even if he had.

"Not good enough." Heero shook his head. "That's just not good enough. Besides, no one would care," he repeated dully.

Duo's fists clenched, his nails making crescent-moon shapes on his palms. "Damn it, Heero, I would care," he said, his voice dropping. "I love you, you insensitive, suicidal jerk. Isn't that enough?"

Heero rocked back, shocked more by those three little words leaving Duo's mouth than he had been when Deathscythe's pilot had hit him.

Duo bit his tongue lightly, wondering what the hell had possessed him to blurt those words out. _'I can't believe I just told him that.'_ He smirked at the stricken look on Heero's face. _'Well, well, it seems Mr. Perfect Soldier can be caught unawares after all…'_

And before Heero could even think of something to say, Duo turned and left the room, his loose hair fanning out in a wide arc behind him.

* * *

End Part 4

Okay, well there it is. This is another busy week for me, so I'm not promising anything regarding the last little part of this fic. I have two (French and bio) midterms, a chem lab, physics homework, and a French paper that I have to get done, so I'm sorry if it takes a little bit for me to get it out. Next week should be much better though. Not. I only have a chem quarterly, physics homework, a calc quiz, a physics lab, and another French paper due… Blah. I will get it to you as soon as I can though.


	5. Part 5: The End and the Beginning

And here it is! The last part of 'Is It Enough?'! I hope you all enjoy. Thank you so much for sticking with me through the whole (as short as it is) thing. 

**Xtine:** As always, thank you. Meany! You know I was very busy. Not that I'm not now too… Meh. And I know you would have woken him up. Because you're mean. And the only time you appreciate the need for sleep is when it's your own! Hee hee. I love you, don't hurt me.

**Yaeko: **Yeah, I think it was. Poor Heero has never been so shocked. Or Duo either, I think; it was a surprise even to him that he let those words tumble out of his mouth…

**Charlie00:** How else would Heero get into a crash during peacetime, eh? Glad you liked it. I hope you enjoy this last part as much as the rest.

**Yamino Tora:** Wow. Thanks for the super nice review. I'm glad you didn't pass up reading this either. I hope the ending lives up to your expectations…

**Prozacfairy:** Well, it's kind of happy. It's not sad. And they don't die. So that would make it on the happier end of the scale, right? I hope the ending doesn't disappoint.

**Crysania Fay:** Lucky. I still have I don't know how many years left… Icky. Hope this hasn't been too long a wait for you.

**Computer Geek Michelle: **Good thing you don't mind short, because that's about all I can write… He he… Umm, yeah…

**Chibi-kyosuki:** I'm happy you liked it. Thanks so much for the review. And I'm sorry, I kind of fibbed. I know I said it would be up last night, but my brain was so dead I really couldn't make myself do anything. But here it is!

* * *

**Part 5: The End and the Beginning**

Duo stepped out of the garishly lit hospital lobby and into the darkness of an L2 street at night. He had a lot that needed to be thought over, so he wandered, letting his feet take him wherever they wished. Time ceased to matter, the only sign of its passage the number of streetlights Duo's steady pace took him under. They glared down at him, judging past transgressions.

It wasn't until his normally sure step faltered on loose gravel that Duo became aware of his surroundings.

-----

Heero slowed as he rounded the corner, careful to stay hidden in the dense shadows cast by the crumbling remains of the long-ago destroyed stone church. Light from a nearby streetlamp fell in an array of colours as it passed through the cracked and only stained glass window left to restless spirits.

Although the place had the appearance of having been destroyed long ago, the scents of dust and ash still mingled in the air, as though the disaster had occurred yesterday. It caused Heero's nose to wrinkle in distaste. He made sure to lift his feet completely so he didn't jar any loose rubble, ears attuned to each sound that broke the heavy silence stalking the ruins.

Heero stopped under a devastated archway, not wanting to disturb the thoughts of his braided baka, who (Heero was pretty sure) had no idea he had been followed.

Bathed in an eerie glow of crimson and violet light, Duo sat on a pile of fallen stones that had once made up the now caved-in ceiling of the church, one leg pulled up so he could rest his chin on it, the other dangling idly over a fallen beam. He fumbled with a small cross that was hanging around his neck, alternately twirling it absently between his fingers or sliding it up and down its chain. His loose hair tumbled, forgotten, down his back.

"Well, Father Maxwell, Sister Helen, it's been a while, hasn't it? I was in the neighbourhood visiting a rather stupid friend of mine, so I figured I'd stop by. Say hi to all the kiddies for me."

Duo was cut off as a sudden gust of wind blew his hair in all directions. He laughed as he spat a few strands out of his mouth and tossed the whole mass over his shoulders. "You know, Sister, I usually do keep it up in that braid of yours," he promised as he reached behind him, hands working swiftly from long practice. "Honest." He reached for his wrist. "Shit," he winced, suddenly very conscious of the fact that he was talking to a priest and a nun. "Sorry." He shrugged. "I forgot my hair tie in Heero's room." Heero allowed himself a small smile at Duo's contrition, but it faded slowly as Duo slipped into a restive and thoughtful silence, his fingers never stopping their worried fiddling.

Suddenly angry, Duo clutched the small cross in his fist, its fine edges digging painfully into the palm and fingers clutched tightly around it. "245 people, Sister," he mumbled, seemingly exhausted, all traces of anger gone as quickly as they had come. The cross dangled, forgotten, from his neck. Heero had to creep closer to be able to hear Duo's next words. "245 people died here nine years ago. How many others died during the war? How many did we alone kill? Countless." He shook his head, teeth worrying his lower lip. "Too many."

Duo let out a long shuddering sigh. He fell silent, gathering his thoughts before continuing. "He was lucky enough to survive those years of hell. We're finally able to lead normal lives. Well, relatively normal, I guess. And what does he do? He decides he wants to waste that chance! How many people could it have been instead of him?" His hand brushed the crucifix resting against his chest. "I can think of at least 245, Father."

"It's a sin, ya know. Suicides are damned. You know it, I know it. Not that we aren't already…" A soft but bitter laugh escaped Duo's lips before trailing off. He shrugged and picked up where he had left off before that dark thought, "Hell, I'm pretty sure he knows it too. I just don't think he cares."

Duo fell silent again. He shifted uncomfortably, grimaced, and shifted again, then reached a hand under his thigh and pulled out a chunk of stone, all hard edges and corners. He glared at the offending piece of rubble before tossing it off to his side. Duo listened to the sounds of it skipping over other debris as he settled back down.

"He said no one would care. He couldn't be more wrong. All he had to do was look at that hospital; Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei all consider him one of their friends, and themselves one of his. And I… well, I love him. I honestly do. He's impossible, but I don't know what I'd do if I lost him. I was so scared today…"

The ensuing silence was a long one as Duo rubbed unshed tears out of his eyes and guilt grew inside Heero.

And suddenly Duo was laughing, a huge grin plastered on his face. "And Relena! Oh, would she ever care!" Heero barely repressed a shudder. "If Heero was gone, who would she stalk?" Duo paused, not laughing anymore, the grin replaced by a sneaky, calculating look. "Better not tell Heero that, hunh? He might off himself just to get rid of her!" Duo shrugged again. "Not that I can really blame him for it. The girl is annoying. And probably insane. Insanely annoying. Anyway," he pulled his leg further up so he could rest his chin on it again, "you get my drift – he has reasons to live. Maybe I survived here nine years ago because I was meant to knock some sense into that idiot." Words exhausted, Duo mulled his thoughts over in his mind, hand automatically drawn to his tiny cross.

Heero stepped over the piece of rubble Duo had thrown, which had rolled to a stop suspiciously close to him. His feet silently found holds as he made his way up to stand behind his fellow ex-pilot. Heero put his hand on Duo's shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. Heero let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding when the other boy covered his hand with his own, and twined their fingers together. Duo tugged gently on Heero's hand until he was sitting, then leaned up against him, closing his eyes. Heero wrapped his arms around Duo and sighed, deciding to follow his Duo's lead, closing his eyes as well.

Neither said anything, but they both knew, what they had now, it was enough.

* * *

The End! 

It's done! I hope you guys all enjoyed. I have another couple of fics written, but they're all in the same boat as this one; desperately needing to be typed up and edited, so it's going to take me some time to get them up…


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